In this morning’s Fruit of the Vine, Bruce Butler writes of his service as a hospice chaplain, “working alongside dedicated nurses, doctors, social workers, and hospice aides to bring comfort and care to patients and their families during the final stage of living – the dying stage.” During his nine years in that position, Bruce noted that it is common for “patients who have unreconciled family issues [to] struggle for peace at the end.”
I read that first paragraph three times this morning, especially that phrase: “unreconciled family issues.” And I thought about all the different families of which I’m a part. My parents and brothers and sisters. My extended family. My church family. My yearly meeting. I thought about some of our “unreconciled family issues,” and I briefly considered compiling a list. But I didn’t know where to start. There’s a lot. A lot that still hurts.
Maybe that’s how it is for you, too.
“Sadly, some families live for years or even decades without forgiveness,” Bruce writes, “unwilling to confess uncaring actions, painful words, or hurtful attitudes.” And whose responsibility is it to risk going first? Bruce doesn’t say. Instead, he points to the reality that “sometimes we find that harboring hurts keeps us in positions of power over our loved ones, fueling our refusal to reconcile.”
I think Bruce is right. I think Bruce is right about me. I think Bruce is right about us.
Bruce uses the Genesis narratives about Joseph to illustrate how hard it can be to reconcile. “First he had to assure himself his brothers had fundamentally changed.” Joseph also wanted to know “that his youngest brother was still alive.” Forgiveness didn’t come easily to Joseph. In spite of his position, Joseph still had suspicions, fears, hurts. Yet Joseph took a risk and discovered that he also had a “powerful weapon for good in [his] family – the power of forgiveness.”
We, too, have this “powerful weapon for good,” and Bruce points out that when we learn to wield this weapon “to seek reconciliation . . . we free ourselves to once again serve the Lord together with gladness.”
Bruce offers a prayer suggestion: “Lord Jesus, make me an instrument of your peace in the life of my family. Give me courage to forgive and reconcile.”
Today I’m praying for that courage. I’m also praying for you.
Eric Muhr
P.S. Don’t forget our continuing sale on all of Arthur Roberts’ work. Click here to see the full collection. All of Arthur’s books remain discounted in our bookstore through Monday, March 6 .
Slowing down
In her reflection on John 10:7-10 in this morning’s Fruit of the Vine, Linda Michael shares a memory about ice cream. “Years ago when life was a whirlwind, I found a rare minute to sit with a big bowl of chocolate almond marshmallow ice cream.” At the time, Linda writes that she had a habit of buying “flavors I didn’t like” in order to avoid temptation, “but for some reason on this particular day, I felt I owed myself that ice cream.”
It was while eating that bowl of ice cream that Linda had her moment of awakening. In the middle of all her worries, her busyness, “and a hundred other interrupters,” Linda realized that she “hadn’t really tasted” the ice cream.
So she slowed down.
“The rest of that ice cream was sweet, smooth, rich, cold. The nuts were crisp and coated in crunchy, dark chocolate, the marshmallow cream soft and sweet. . . . I experienced the flavors, textures, temperatures.”
Slowing down is hard.
There are a dozen waterfalls in Yamhill County, where I live. Many of them are poorly mapped and hard to find, so I gave myself a challenge this last summer: to find and photograph all twelve. On one of those trips, I had to slide down a nearly vertical 500 feet of loose dirt and pine needles. The waterfall at the bottom of that ravine was worth it. Baker Creek cascades over a basalt ledge in two giant steps to the forest floor. There were fresh salmon berries. Birds. The glint of afternoon sun. The roar of water. But by the time I’d climbed back up to the road, I was ready to go home. I was driving back down that mountain road, when I had a moment of awakening. I realized that the experience isn’t just in the capture of the falls in order to check it off my list. The journey also has meaning. So I stopped my car in the middle of that road. I got out, and I took the photo in the header of this email. A small screen of sword ferns with light landing on the fir trunks behind. I drove the rest of the way a little more slowly.
Linda writes, “We get so busy with life that we forget to live . . . not noticing the joys of each moment, the little presents from God that each day holds.” Jesus came that we “may have life, and have it abundantly,” but that's not our default.
We have to choose to slow down.
Eric Muhr
P.S. Don’t forget our continuing sale on all of Arthur Roberts’ work. Click here to see the full collection. All of Arthur’s books remain discounted in our bookstore through Monday, March 6 .
Arthur Roberts
Last week, as we began the work of updating our print catalog, I was reminded of the huge investment many have made in Barclay Press. Nearly one in five Barclay Press titles, for instance, lists Arthur Roberts as a writer, editor, or contributor. Arthur edited a modern-English edition of Robert Barclay’s A Catechism and Confession. Arthur shared his poems in collections like Heavenly Fire, Let the Spirit Soar, and Look Closely at the Child. Arthur closely studied the life and work of George Fox in Through Flaming Sword. Then, in Prayers of Twilight, he explored his own mortality (and ours).
Arthur passed away this last December at the age of 93.
As a way of remembering Arthur’s contribution to Barclay Press, to George Fox University, and to Friends, we’re offering a 20 percent discount on all of Arthur’s titles for the next month. Click here to see the full collection. I hope that many of these might be books you already own and love.
In closing, I want to offer this excerpt from a letter Arthur sent to pastors in April 2003. His words for then still matter today (something that remains true for many of the words Arthur offered over the course of his life):
“Look through the lens of sovereign purpose to spot virtues shining in rough and parochial settings, e.g., soldiers risking their lives for each other, sorrowing families finding solace from caring neighbors, hungry children bonding with relief workers, medics healing broken bodies. In such activities the Spirit sows seeds of loyalty and love that when nourished will grow and flower in broader fields of humanity. Watch the Holy Spirit etch images of a million peace marchers into the consciences of the people world-wide. Anticipate not only a growing repudiation of war but also minds newly opened to embedded injustices that feed violence.
“Watch the Spirit prod religious leaders of the world into affirming full religious freedom, without monopolistic tyranny. Watch idealists search for foundational truth in the rubble of Babel’s tumbled towers. Witness lessons of compassion learned from refugees and from the families of the slain. Through communities of suffering God teaches everyone lessons about love. Rejoice in the bond of peace that will fuse into Kingdom solidarity humanitarian aid workers and the families they assist.
“My companions in the Gospel, rest your faith in the power and presence of the Lord, as expressed in Psalm 46:”
1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea;
3 though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble with its tumult.
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of the city; it shall not be moved; God will help it when the morning dawns.
6 The nations are in an uproar, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts.
7 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.
8 Come, behold the works of the LORD; see what desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow, and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth.”
Eric Muhr