by Wallace White

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review by Charles Mylander

PORNOGRAPHY is the SARS of the Christian life for most men. Once infected, it seems impossible to rid oneself of the images and thoughts. Spread by a sex-saturated Western society, defended as harmless, and protected as a right of privacy, the epidemic spreads everywhere. It causes havoc.

Wallace White not only shares why lust is so destructive, but also why it has such a grip on so many men. Men have two sides to their sexual development, one visual and the other relational. In a society out of whack with healthy development, the visual sexual images hit every man again and again and again. Virtually all men experience increasing doses of sexual stimulation by the eye gate. Those who engage in pornography find it far more difficult to form healthy relationships with females. Many find themselves at a 13-14 year old development level in their sexuality.

An insidious industry

An insidious industry makes billions on increasing doses of pornography. And pornography is nothing less than visual sexual stimulation with no authentic relationship. The results are devastating. Marriages fall apart as wives find themselves competing with plastic images and quirky ideas. Worse yet, many grown men with a 13-14 year old sexual development are a menace to society. The link between pornography, rape, and child sexual abuse is well-documented (although often denied).

Our society not-so-subtly communicates to women that the relational part of sexuality depends on the visual. Just look at the huge emphasis on appearance in the media today.

• Sexy is confused with beautiful.
• Image is valued more than character.
• Morality is treated as a private matter.
• Intolerance of another's values is despised—no matter how unhealthy or destructive those values are.
• Getting my needs met is the name of the game.

Longing for relationship, women trade sex for love and find themselves ensnared with a man in bondage to lust. White's helpful book is designed for men and for the women who struggle to understand and help them. Instead of the popular practice of feeding youthful lusts, he advocates fleeing youthful lusts. If it's too late to flee, then the need is to seek freedom from bondage.

Dealing with sin

Worse than a disease, lust is sinful. Few can engage in repeated pornography without lust. But neither our Lord Jesus nor any part of the Bible excuses it. Like all sin, especially private sin, lust is self-destructive and harmful to others. Its very privacy becomes a snare and an excuse.

But the darker the night, the brighter the light. Jesus came to set us free—even from the chains of lust. Because of His atoning sacrifice on the cross and the power of His resurrection, our Lord Jesus will forgive and set free the man who asks, seeks, and knocks for deliverance. But unlike hidden lust, it's not a solo effort. Most often it requires other Christian men and a godly wife (if he's still married).

Wallace White writes like a pastor who has considerable experience in helping men find freedom from pornography and lust. He insists that solutions can be found in Jesus Christ, His forgiveness, cleansing and empowering—plus a healthy dose of self-discipline. He summarizes his steps on page 92 and that page alone is worth the price of the book.

Other resources

No book is perfect or has all the answers. What are the weaknesses of this book? Those with deeper spiritual, psychological, and marital problems may find the need for more help. Discipline alone is not enough.

Some may want to read Neil T. Anderson's A Way of Escape to find their true identity in Christ and learn how to find initial freedom from bondage. Anderson advocates verbally renouncing every sinful act of the past, one by one. Focus on the Family has good resources to recommend.

Sexaholics Anonymous groups are available in many places. But ultimately, our Lord Jesus Christ is the bondage breaker. He sets men (and women) free from lust, free from pornography, free from the compelling desires to satisfy themselves no matter who gets hurt.

This 93-page book is an easy read with good material. I recommend it. It shows what it takes to persist in a walk with Christ that ends with authentic freedom from lust.

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