This is a tough issue! I've experienced/am experiencing some tragedies with very, very close friends. In my struggle I have read prodigiously,talked with God with a new listening ear, seen many scriptures and grace itself in totally new ways, and talked to many young adults.

As to church, sex is perceived as as don't talk issue most places. Teaching on sex is so abstinence based and/or legallistic young adult find it leaves them more isolated in their struggles. It creates even more questions with only culture to go to for answers or relief. The excellent books - bold, frank, upfront, and scripturally grounded are not offered. The books usually recommend in churches are often unsatisfying.

Groups of one gender friends formed at/or before beginning puberty - the kind that are basically always together whether a church activity or not - can be a great help. Intimate groups provide the emotional intimacy, physical busyness, and spiritual community, including sexual accountability,that seem key to dealing with sex and culture. They provide safe help with recovery from falling.

From scripture, it is becoming increasingly clear that if we have the intimate transforming relationship with God and other transforming people shown in the narratives and presumed norm for believers - infants or mature in faith - rovide the antidote to the sexually stimulating cultures of NT time through now. The resulting satisfaction of our emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, and relational needs prepare all age groups for fulfilling, and growing more and more a participant in the glorious completing gift of sex our Father intended. It also takes the sting out of sexual issues, provides the best defense against cultural and the enemy stealing this gift. This living the "normal" life the NT portrays engages our lives in such a fulfilling and time consuming manner that interacting with a sexually stimutated culture and its pressures will have a whole different dynamic than presently experienced by kids or adults.

As to family, I'm shocked. I thought I was cautious and too closed mouthed with my kids. They say I was, especially about personsal positive and negative experiences. But - I find I was bold, and more honest than most families ever get too! Sexuality, its real life development, and its huge benefits at all seasons of life needs to be a part of the normal conversation of the family. Seperating it out, even not talking about the wonders and effects of godly sex, disconnects sex from it created place in life. By conversation children learn/nderstand more about sexuallity as they are experiencing it from babyhood straight through death. Keeping sex in conversation the norm creates openness, relevance, and a sense of personal normalacy. The early and continued interaction around the kids sexuality should introduce a sense that this is what happened or is happening with my father/mother. Kids learn and adapt sexuality and sexual pratice from those people with whom they feel safe/connected.

I've tried multiple times to comment on this question. It doesn't lend itself to 'sound bites'. Each sentence which follows is in fact a yet undeveloped paragraph.

Yes, we and our children swim in a toxic soup, and religion including Christianity has made its own contribution. Sex and sexuality, the most common attributes of life, have become commodities. They are shrouded in secrecy and given the allure of the forbidden. But it is not an antidote we need, it is immunity. Immunity must come from within.
Early Friends warned of'preaching up sin'. Augustine, Calvin and the four spiritual laws have convinced people of their inherent worthlessness and brokenness. The market place reinforces feelings of inadequacy and offers antidotes, which when employed seems to confirm them. Self destructive behaviors are symptoms of negative self appreciation.
Our faith teaches us of a loving God who called his creation good. As creatures we are naturally sexual beings. (That's good.) But we are each more than that. We are also spiritual beings. Our children need to be introduced to a very present and loving spirit of Christ and we adults need to talk about our relationship with Christ in the presence of our children. We need to exhibit the fact that each of us are a precious part of creation and our life is an opportunity to bring glory to God. When we and our children feel positive about our self, our body, our abilities and our relationship with the living Christ we have immunity to the toxic soup of our culture. We need not focus on what is wrong out there, we need to focus on what is right within. Adults need to reveal the joy of positive human relationships. We might be able to relearn that from observing our children's healthy relationships yet unburdened by sex as a commodity. Children need to experience the safety of a caring community of faith that is willing to hear their struggles with becoming fully human. Here is a great opportunity to integrate our Faith and Practice.