Back in the olden days when I was a romantic, I thought my husband, Ron, was a pessimist. Of course, Ron defended himself by telling me he was a realist. In my old age, it is obvious I really am the pessimist, and Ron is indeed a realist. When I was a romantic, I believed people were allotted a defined number of difficult things to deal with in life, and once you reached your quota, life would be wonderful. Too quickly, I learned the age-old truth: life is difficult. With that realization, I lost some of my ability to be a romantic, to believe that life was all about mystery, beauty, romance and adventure.

Sometimes I miss being a romantic. I should have guessed I would end up this way. The song we chose for our wedding, He Giveth More Grace, was not a traditional wedding song. We liked the song and it seemed appropriate for Ron to sing it in that meeting for worship. As I approach the 34th anniversary of that meeting for worship, the words to this song are daily on my mind and my heart:

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

I had no idea 34 years ago how deeply those words would touch my life or how those words would influence and shape who I am and how I relate to everyone around me, and especially my husband. I may not be a romantic and I spend too much time being pessimistic about life, but I have discovered in life a deeper joy than I ever, ever thought possible. This incredible joy comes from an unexpected place: the evidences of grace in the world and in my life.

I always thought marriage would be about romance. The truth is, it is about the evidence of grace. Grace is evident in forgiveness. Forgiveness for mistakes in a relationship, forgiveness for sin and selfishness, forgiveness given and forgiveness received. Grace is evident in dealing with difficult days, with difficult people; grace is evident in the frailties of life such as tragic accidents, cancer, death, heart attacks and strokes, things that change life and relationships forever. Grace lies in the gift of hope when everything else in my life screams to give up, to quit, to go away, or to say something I know I will regret. Grace lies in the spirit of God speaking to me and through me, walking with me and giving me strength to face the difficult world and the inevitable difficulties of being alive. Grace encourages me daily to fall in love all over again with my Savior, my God, with my husband, and with my life. Grace helps me breathe again and to go on living.

You know…..I believe grace may actually turn me back into a romantic……