My spring was full of numbers.

Spring started with flowering dogwoods. Every year on the Sunday before Earth Day, our meeting gives out 100 small trees for planting. This year we reached the 1000th tree mark. What a joy to visit friends and see the trees they have planted over the last 10 years. Small twigs in cups have turned into beautiful, tall, living trees that bless our earth. The tilling and plotting of the Community Garden and the Compassion Garden happened these last few weeks and gardeners are now planting seeds and plants. This spring I am celebrating the goodness of God’s earth.

I love gardening. It makes me happy and it reminds me of my grandparents. Their love for farming and gardening had a profound influence in my life. In mid April, I celebrated what would have been my Grandfather’s 98th birthday. I miss him. He has been on my mind a lot these last few months. In February, I learned my cousin’s wife has a rare form of stomach cancer. This news broke my heart. I know they are a part of a praying and supportive faith community. I know God’s presence surrounds them through these difficult days of treatment. Nevertheless, I wish they did not have to face this event in their lives. When I first heard the news, I wondered what my Grandfather would say to all of us. His presence, wisdom and deep trust in God was a foundation on which our family depended for many years. This event made me realize that my grandfather taught us well. He passed on to another generation a deep trust in God and a faith that sustains us through difficult times. This spring I am celebrating the goodness of my earthly heritage.

Spring finds my husband and I teaching in the public school system week-long courses on sex education called “Creating Positive Relationships”. We usually teach about 350 6th grade students each year in our county and sometimes the weeks are difficult. We have already taught in two schools that have pregnant 6th graders. There are times when we are overwhelmed with the world we live in. As a part of our time with the students, we have them write down a question everyday and I spend the first part of the hour answering their questions. One day a student asked if my husband and I fight. When we talk about sex this is not usually one of the questions the kids ask. Ron and I spent a few minutes in class debating the question. He claims we do not fight and I said I think we do. The students laughed. I know the homes many of these students come from and I know that a majority of them come from broken families. I was blessed with a thankful heart for the 34 years we’ve had to fight about fighting. I am thankful for a positive relationship in the midst of a world of divorce and heartache. On May 1, I celebrated what would have been my grandparent’s 79th wedding anniversary. Their lives together blessed me. They were not perfect and they had some difficult times, but they taught me the incredible joy of a positive relationship and of growing old together. This spring I am celebrating the goodness of love.

This spring has been difficult. I’ve been overwhelmed, disappointed and discouraged. There are always too many negative relationships to deal with in my life and I struggle to be all that God wants me to be. With the good anniversaries I celebrate in the spring, I also celebrate some difficult ones. On May 3 I celebrated the 41st anniversary of my father’s death in a car accident. Life changed greatly in those days for me and for my family and in many ways, it defined who I am and how I relate to those around me. I celebrated the 7th anniversary this spring of the day an escaped prisoner broke into my home and held me hostage. At times, I find it challenging to make negative events matter for good in the world.

One of the greater gifts of the last few months was increased communication with my cousin. Over the last few months, we’ve shared many good things with each other. The most important for me was my cousin sharing a list of 10 queries he wrote in the hours after my grandfather’s memorial service. Because we grew up in different homes with very different parents, my experience with my grandparents was different from my cousins. I added 4 queries to his list and this list of 14 questions shaped how I perceived the numbers in my life this spring. These queries gave me a way to look at the difficulties and shortcomings in my life and to discover an incredible joy in choosing to nurture my relationship with God and others. These 14 queries gave me a way to celebrate life this spring.

Grandfather Farner’s Queries written by Frank Engle Jr. and Pam Ferguson:

Do I love Christ deeply?
Do I encourage members of my family and pray for them daily?
Am I faithful to my church, attending faithfully, giving generously and being active in leadership?
Do I support and encourage my pastors?
Do I take an active role in my community, being a witness and sharing my talents?
Do I uphold the Sabbath by avoiding major projects, other than essential chores?
Am I journaling faithfully? Reading scripture consistently?
Do I love my wife (spouse) more with each passing year? Is she (he) my “angel?”
Am I a gentleman (gentlewoman), showing kindness and consideration to all?
Am I impartial towards each child? And towards future grandchildren?
Am I a good steward of the land? Am I a good steward of all God’s creatures, great and small?
Do I speak truth in all my words and actions? Am I willing to make right the wrongs I committed unto others?
Am I conscientious about my financial affairs, not living above my means, not going into debt needlessly?
Am I a good witness of my Quaker faith and my Quaker community, living out of a commitment to truth through the testimonies of simplicity, peace, integrity, community and equality?